A Guide to "Musician Lingo"

from the email Inbox:

For those not hip to the lingo...........here's what your musician friends really mean:

Tone- how much feedback you can make

"our sound"- how much you sound like another band

"our look"- how much make-up you wear

"influenced by"- ripped off

Melodic- Singer actually sings........correct key not required

key- what notes you think the song has in it

bar- the stuff before the chorus/the place where they keep the strippers

chorus- the stuff people actually remember

note- where your fingers are on the guitar

chord- combination of notes that you can play really really loud. There may be chords in a key or a bar. or in a bar key. something like that.

"friend in the music industry"- your cousin steve that works at blockbuster

"playing a showcase"- opening for another band that is already signed

"Signed"- to your cousin steve's record label

singer- guy who doesn't play guitar

lead singer- guy who thinks he plays guitar

lead guitarist- guy who thinks he can sing

bassist- guy who used to play guitar

drummer- guy who knows where to get drugs

manager- your cousin steve that works at blockbuster

scene- a town full of musicians who used to live in other scenes

demo- 3 song recording

album- demo plus an accoustic track and a "hidden track" of your guitarist playing the solo from stairway to heaven in the wrong key

record contract- ???????

girlfriend- the chick that pays the bills

groupie- the chick you bum off of while your ol lady is at work

hardcore- loud

punk- 3 chords

folk- 3 chords

singer/songwiter- "can somebody get me a mocha latte?"

soul- sounds black

rock- everything else

touring- playing your cousin steve's wedding

dedicated- no job

"opening for"- because people like them more

"about the music"- unless people don't like that music........then its about whatever music they do like

"other job"- pawn shop

"You guys played a great set"- we're much better than you

" This song is for all the ladies"- both of you

"we're gonna take it down a little bit"- because our drummer passed out

"We have merch for sale"- We need money

"For band expenses"- to bail our drummer out

"we're playing an accoustic set"- because our drummer is in rehab

"i don't drink before the set"- because i don't have any money

"we're a tight unit"- practiced more than twice

"This is my side project"- I'm much more talented than my regular band

"everybody come up to the front of the stage, don't be shy"- Please! Love me! Please!


Hope that clears it up. Tip your bartenders and waitresses! Thanks for
coming out!( this crowd sucked, I need a drink!)